Twins!

A lot has happened since I last posted.

The end of October, the 24th, I found out that I was pregnant. This was a little earlier than we had planned, but only by a couple months. It got me thinking more and more about how we would do the On-the-road life with a new baby. In a LOT of ways it got me even more motivated. I really like the idea of being able to take the kids when we want, when we want. I really want out of this house and the baby made me feel that more strongly.
Unfortunately, almost immediately after I found out I wa pregnant, I started have some complications. I was having some serious cramping and spotting. At this point, I hadn't told Dallas, as I was trying to keep it a suprise until his birthday. I met with the midwives at the birthing center where I was so excited to be able to go. They ran tests on my HCG levels which came back fine. I was so relieved, I told Dallas that night that I was pregnant. It was the 6th, only 4 days until his birthday. He was excited, and suprised that I had waited that long, and not waited until his birthday. The following Monday, the 9th, I had an ultrasound to find out why I was spotting. I went in and the tech did a little looking around and turned to me and says, "Are you ready?" Now, I'm pretty nervous that something is wrong, and what exactly do I need to be "ready" for??!! So I said, "Yes" and she said, "It's TWINS!". I was shocked and started crying a little, but very excited. They were just tiny little eggs at that point (6 weeks 1 day) but we could already see the flickering of their tiny heartbeats. It was a huge relief. So I waited a WHOLE day and a half before telling Dallas. He still ended up getting a baby for his birthday.
And while we are super excited about the twins, it causes some serious reconsidering to our previous plans. While theoretically we could fit everyone in the Beast of a truck that we already bought, that would mean that Harrison would have to be in the middle in the front, and I'm just not comfortable with that. That means we are going to have to sell the truck and buy an Excursion. This means instead of a 5th wheel, we would have to go with either a travel trailer, or buy a bus and have it tow the Excursion.
Because twin pregnancies are high risk pregnancies, I need to be near my own doctor and a hospital with a good NICU. Not that I think anything will go wrong, but I want to be prepared, just in case. Also, becaues I have been having complications, and have been told not to do any heavy lifting and to take it easy, we're looking at finding a college student near by that would be willing to trade room and board for child care and light housekeeping. For that, we need to stay in the house at least until next August. We will probably put off moving into the trailer or bus for at least a year. That is, unless Dallas gets accepted to Officer Training School, in which case we'll have to figure it out then.
So a LOT of changes with just two words! "IT'S TWINS!!"

Soft Addictions

This is probably a strange place to post this but I needed it said. And maybe this is part of the reason we're making the decisions to move into an RV.

When my parents came to visit, my mom taught Austin how to play some games on her laptop. It was very cute at the time to see him so intense about the game and to see him learning and developing new skills. However, since then, all Austin wants to do is either watch movies or play games on the computer.

I was in the book store last week with Dallas on our date night and saw a book titled "The Soft Addiction Solution." Here is a blurb:
Soft Addictions are those seemingly harmless habits like over-shopping, overeating, watching too much TV, endlessly surfing the internet, procrastinating—that actually keep us from the life we want. They cost us money, rob us of time, numb us from our feelings, mute our consciousness, and drain our energy. And we all have them.
— Judith Wright, author of The Soft Addiction Solution

Since then, I keep thinking about it. I didn't even read the book, but the idea of it really got to me. It hit me yet again today. Since I've been sick and Dallas was gone most of the week (excuses, excuses), Austin spent A LOT of time on the computer. I found a web browser that will only allow him access to games that are age appropriate and that he can maneuver. It's really pretty cool. He's been working on his letters and counting. A number of great things.

But he's addicted. He doesn't want to do anything but be on the computer. He isn't interested in eating, in playing with toys, going to the park. Nothing, except playing on the computer.

I know where he gets this. He's following my example (and I'm following my parents - Sorry Mom and Dad). I spend WAY too much time on the computer - but it's research!! I over-shop rather than do something productive with a friend. I over-eat. (Let's not think too much on this one, right?) I watch movies rather than talk to my husband. I read novels rather than interact with my children. I've used books to escape from reality as much as the computer. Only it's more socially acceptable. But why? Fictitious books are the same as watching a movie. The only difference is that you have to imagine the pictures. Even a lot of non-fiction isn't benefiting anyone.

So what is really the problem with these? We are escaping reality. What is so wrong with reality after all? It's stressful, it boring and it wears us out. Would we be so stressed out, and bored, and worn out if we spent the energy that we use escaping to enjoy?

Honestly I've already made some progress in some of this. Or at least recognized the need to. We don't have cable or any TV except what movies we get and Netflix. We had previously put a timer on the computer so I wouldn't spend all day on it rather than spending time with my kids. And I've (tried) to stop getting novels from the library. But I still have so many areas I need to work on. I don't know. I just know this is something I need to work on.

Maybe I should get off the computer and enjoy my family..

Back on the Fence

So, just when I think we have made a decision, I find we're back at the beginning again.

We have been looking at a number of trailers. There aren't very many in our price range with living quarters. There are very few in the length range (35' to 40') that we're looking for. And most of them seem to be far away. So the option of building our own from a car hauler trailer came up again. But even the the basic trailers are $7,000 to $10,000. Plus the cost in time and money of fixing one up the way that we want. So even before the fix up, we're at $17,000 to $20,000, which is as much as we really want to spend total.

So, we have started thinking again about doing a bus conversion. If we sell the truck and buy a bus for $7,000 or $8,000 and the 1 acre of land for $5,000, we're at $12,000. And and actually ave some place to put the RV.

It would probably cost between $5,000 and $10,000 for convert either the trailer or bus. We could plan it how we like, including a bunk house for the kids, with probably 3 bunks (for the next little bundle, which, while I'm not pregnant yet, is another story all together).

We could use the Jetta as a tow vehicle, rather than having to set up for the trailer to tow a car. However, then it would add up the miles on the Jetta since we would have to pull it as a toad. But we also wouldn't have the open space in the RV for the kids to be crazy in. And the bus will likely be about 35' which is shorter than the majority of trailers we've looked at. But in some ways, that will be good, as it will then fit in more RV parks.

So the real issue is the amount of time it will take, and if we can make it look good, or if it will look a little too country for us to be happy with it.... Hmmmm....

Still evolving

Well, we didn't go to Phoenix to check out that one as we decided that a 48' trailer is probably going to be too long to be practical in most RV parks. We're looking at 36' to 40' as probably the best. We would still be able to fit the car in the back (it's 15' long) and have a living area set up in the front, with 8' over the gooseneck hitch.

Another option that I recently discovered (though Dallas swears he mentioned it long ago) is a bus conversion. I think I didn't consider it before because I didn't realize we could set it up with bunks. The biggest issue with this idea, is that we already have the F550. While we could probably sell it for what we bought it for, that's just a pain. Do we really want to do that?

We're Going to See Another One!

Tomorrow, we are driving back up to Phoenix to look at another car/race hauler. Dallas is afraid that this one is a bit too plain, but I think it's just what I'm looking for.

It's a 48' Vintage. It has a 12,000 A/C unit that was removed to install a 15,000 one, but that was never done. It already has fresh, grey and black water tanks. And new tires.

In the front is the "master" bed. Then on the drivers side is a bathroom with a shower and toilet, though it looks like no sink. That's enclosed. Then, still down the driver's side, there are some cabinets and a kitchen sink. There is a microwave, but no fridge or range. There is a bed/couch on the passengers side but other than that it's pretty plain. There is no divider between the living area and the cargo area.

It's listed at $10,000. Hopefully we can get it for less than that. Since it's so plain, we might be able to use our own furniture in it, including the boys own beds, our couches and if I could figure out how, our own appliances. Hmmm.... I'm off to research how to use regular household appliances in an RV situation.

The Why of It All....Part II

So why don't we just stay in the house that we bought?

Again the answer is multifaceted.

The easy answer is we plan to move again, probably several times in short succession.

Dallas is planning on applying for Officer Training School. If he gets accepted, we would move to Alabama for a couple months, then probably somewhere else for more training, then maybe to his finally duty station, maybe we'd bounce around even more. Then about two years later, we would get a new duty station and have to move again. Yes, we could get apartments and just move all our stuff around like we have in the past.

Dallas is also going to be getting deployed. Then there is a question of what I should do when he leaves. I can stay in a town that I've only been in for a couple months. or I can go to visit family. It is very important to me that my children have a chance to get to know their extended family as much as possible. Also, having family around gives me, as a mother, a break from being the only caretaker. If we have an apartment or a house somewhere, then when I leave to visit family, we have to be concerned with what happens at the house or apartment while we're gone. We are also still paying for it while we're gone.

Living in an RV means we can move as needed and visit family when we like. But, in reality, the moving is only a part of the whole.

Since we've moved into this house, it has started feeling more and more wrong. I thought, especially after all the moving of the previous year, that once we had a house and settled down then things would be all better. I've found that isn't true. In many ways, I like the house that we have. It's nice to own a home and know that I can decorate it as I please. It's nice to have space for the boys to play. It is nice to be settled after all the moving of last year.

One of the reasons we got this house specifically was the amount of square footage for the price. It's a smidgeon over 1900 square feet. However, much of the space in this house has tended to be wasted space. We have a loft area that rarely gets used. A guest bedroom that only gets used as a laundry depository unless guests are actually here. The boys room only gets used to sleep in as does our master bedroom. The breakfast nook never gets breakfasted in. Really the only rooms that get used regularly are the kitchen, the boys playroom and where ever the computer has ended up. And if I'm on the computer, the boys don't even want to be in their playroom.

I had hoped that once we moved into a neighborhood, we would meet people and make friends with our neighbors. However, we haven't. Part of the problem in our current neighborhood is that a large majority of them speak Spanish, whereas I don't. Also, a number of the houses around us have gone up for rent, which means new people moving in and out. But I think the problem is larger than that. I think that the neighborhoods that I grew up in are largely a thing of the past. There isn't the feeling of friendliness and hospitality, of backyard bar-b-ques that I was hoping for. You wave as you drive by but you don't stop to talk. There aren't front porches to sit on, there are tall walls in the back yards. It's just a very different feeling then I was hoping for.

Then there is the very real desire I have to be as self sufficient as possible. To live a simple life. This house does not lend itself to self-sufficiency or to simplicity. When I mentioned this aspect to my mom, she said that an RV wouldn't necessarily be a great place to these things either. I wouldn't be able to make my own soap or sew or harvest water. But I think, for once, she's wrong. I might have limited space to be able to store supplies for things like soap making. However, if I visit the same places on a regular basis, I could store specific things at specific locations. Like when I visit Tom and Dorothy's property, I could make enough soap for 6 months, until I can return to do it again. When I visit my parents' house, I could work on sewing clothes for the next 6 months. When I visit Paula's house, I could work on setting up the solar power on the RV. I might not be able to do everything in the RV that I want to do, but it need not stop me from doing what I want to do.

There is also a feeling of wanting to get out of the consumerist society. I mentioned before that in all the moving we often had to buy things that we already had, just because we couldn't get to the one that we already owned. In this house, it is so easy to go out and buy, buy, buy even if we don't need anything. I feel that we've gotten too caught up in needing all the coolest gadgets, but we don't appreciate what we have. Everything has become disposable.

After the fire, we decided that rather than get a lot of something, we should just get one good one. Instead of having several cheap TVs we would get one good one that we really liked. Instead of a whole set of pots and pans, we would get a couple that were high quality. I think we started out with good intentions, but we've gotten away from that idea. It's so easy to walk into Wal-mart and come out with too much. And nothing with real value.

If we move into an RV, our space will be severely limited. Everything must have a purpose and a place. We will have to decide what is really important to us and then take care of it. If we have less and buy less, that means we can buy the quality that we want. I would rather support work-at-home-moms, or artisans, or craftsmen who take the time and care to build a good product, rather than buy a product that is mass produced in another country under questionable standards. These items often cost more to be able to pay the maker a decent wage. As Dallas reminds me, each dollar we spend is a vote. I want to vote for quality versus quantity.

So, the RV lifestyle for us is more than just a mobile lifestyle, although that is part of it. We hope that the RV lifestyle will also be a simpler, more self-sufficient lifestyle, more in tune with the kind of lives we want to live.

The Why of It All....Part I

When I've told anyone about our decision to move into an RV, the first question is usually, "Why?" Here's the first part of a long answer I don't usually give...

Last year, I moved to Texas in the hopes of not moving while pregnant. That, in fact, back fired badly, and we ended up moving 15 times in a 12 month period. This was very stressful for a number of reasons.

1. I was pregnant or had a new baby which makes moving a bit more challenging. I usually had to have help with packing and unpacking the car when I was pregnant, which meant working around someone else's schedule. It was difficult to come home from the hospital to a place that wasn't our own and not be able to set things up in a way that was conducive to a new baby. I think Harrison learned to crawl at 4 1/2 months because he was put down so often so I could pack or unpack.

2. Most of my stuff stayed packed so I didn't have my own things. This often meant I bought something new that I knew I had packed somewhere but it was either in a different state or was just to much of a challenge to get to. We stayed in AF lodging for a large portion of the 12 months, so we were able to use their supplies, but it never feels like home. You don't have your own knives, or plates or even sheets. And I don't want to think about who else has slept (or not) on the beds we slept on or when the last time the duvet covers were washed. Even when we stayed with family, we were staying in their house, with their things, and their rules.

3. We were constantly having to get used to new environments. Trying to figure out the television in each new hotel room, or where they put the towels, or the how to turn on the oven. Where is the toaster? Is there any plastic wrap? Does this couch fold out into a bed?

4. The uncertainty of how long we could stay somewhere and when we'd have to move again. There were times we had to pack up everything the day after we unpacked to move out of a room in lodging, only to be told a couple hours later that we could move back into the same room. Especially with military lodging, we we never sure if we'd be able to stay or how long. We would often have to call the office in the morning to see if we would have to move out that afternoon, or if we had another days reprieve.

5. Often the spaces where we lived were not set up for a family of 4, with a very active toddler and a new born baby. The military lodging tended to be the best for this, but where we were staying when I gave birth to Harrison was a bit of an exception. They did not have any two bedroom units. The bed in the bedroom was a double, which was not big enough for both Dallas and me in my very pregnant state. I ended up sleeping on the (double) fold out couch for several weeks up until and even after the birth of Harrison. The day I came home from the hospital, I shared the couch with my mother and my new born baby, while Dallas shared the bed with Austin. Even in the larger accommodations, we were always concerned with what Austin could get into and since it wasn't our stuff, he had to be careful not to play with anything that wasn't his. The floors and furniture were made for hotel living, not family living.

So, why an RV?

1. Hopefully this time I won't be pregnant or have a new baby. But even if I do become pregnant, moving an RV would be much less stressful than moving a house full of goods. If I have a baby while in the RV, I can set it up with what I need ahead of time, without having to worry about moving in the mean time. We would have the things we need and can set things up the way that works for us.

2. The packing and unpacking will be minimal. We would have a set-up and break-down routine. Beyond that, most of the stuff would stay were we put it on a regular, daily basis, rather than having to be put in boxes and packed away. We would have our own things. Our own beds, our own dishes, our own food, our own toys. If stuff gets broken, it's our own stuff. If the kids spill, it's on our own furniture.

3. We would have a consistent routine and environment for the kids. They know where their toys are and where they go when they put them away. They know where we are when they wake up in the middle of the night and have had a bad dream.

4. While we might have to move the RV occasionally, theoretically we would be able to stay at an RV park as long as we wanted. Also, even if we move RV parks, our "home" stays the same, it just gets a new backyard.

5. We can set up our RV how WE want it and change it as our needs change. While there will be distinct limits mainly because of size, we can do what we like with what we have. We can baby proof or not. We can set up a play area for the kids. It will be ours to do with as we please.

So, while an RV lifestyle might not work for many families, I think for us, it makes sense.

The Evolution of an Idea

Our ideas are still evolving, but this is how we got where we are today...

When we were first looking for a place to buy in Nebraska, we thought briefly about buying some land and living in a trailer or barn type building. Instead we bought the house in Union.

That house burned down. We moved into an apartment and then Dallas got accepted for training and we moved to California. After I found out that I was pregnant, I moved to Texas in the hope that I wouldn't have to move while pregnant. The idea was to move into a small building. That fell through. Then the idea was to borrow my mother-in-law's 5th wheel. That idea also fell through.

I ended up moving around 15 times in a 12 month period, half of which I was pregnant, the other half I had a very new baby. We lived in some very small accommodations during this time. We lived in a 17x20 room in Arkansas, and several military lodgings, and for a couple weeks in a a small hotel room with only one double bed and my brother for a couple days.

When we finally settled down, we bought this house in Tucson. Since we've moved in, this house has seemed more and more like too much. It's a great house, but it doesn't fit with the kind of lifestyle that we want to live. There is so much space that we just don't use, we could live so much more simply in a much smaller space. We also have seemed to get sick a LOT in this house.

We had been thinking sporadically about a small trailer or moving into a smaller house and renting this one out. Especially as Dallas will start getting deployed soon. If he leaves, it would be nice to be able to take the kids to go visit family without having to worry about the house here being left empty.

When Dallas's mom came to visit and we told her about our ideas. She offered to fix up her trailer for us to use. This made the idea very real and we started planning, including looking at trucks and places to put the trailer.

We went back and forth a bit on the type of truck that we wanted. At first, we really wanted a Dodge Mega cab. It gives the most in-cabin space - meaning less seat kicking from the kids in the back. But even used, these are just too expensive. And Dallas was pretty set on getting 4 wheel drive, which again ups the price.

Then we started looking at how much each truck could haul. And the 250 or 2500 models didn't seem big enough, according to a lot of the forum threads I read, to haul and STOP a big, heavy trailer. I decided we needed a 450/4500 or 550/5500 which pretty much left us with Fords.

We (meaning I) spent a LOT of time on craigslist and ebay and a number of other sites trying to find the right truck. Finally, we found it! A Ford F550 4x4 with the Lariat package right in our price range. And it was even in Arizona! Awesome. We bought it. It has a couple of problems that we're going to have to get fixed but, hopefully, this will be a truck we'll never have to upgrade.

We found out that Dallas was going to be getting deployed early in the new year. Which gave us a specific time frame for getting on the road.

Just after we got the truck, we found out that Paula's trailer was in too bad of shape. Paula wasn't going to be able to fix it, especially not by the time we would need it.

This got us back on the hunt for a trailer, which meant hours and hours looking over craigslist in every state near family. We had already checked out the RV dealerships nearby and knew that we wanted a two bedroom 5th wheel model. This really limited our options, as did our very small budget. Most of the ones that we looked at had a leak or other water damage, and, as that was what had caused the problems with Paula's trailer, we weren't going to risk it.

We kept trying to figure out how to take both the truck (which only gets about 9 mpg diesel) and the Jetta (which gets about 40 mpg diesel) without having to drive separately. We looked at toy haulers, but the weight ratings for the ramps were only 1000lb and the frames were about the same. They really are made for bikes and quads. The Jetta weighs at least 3500 lbs.

In looking through the craigslist ads, I sent an ad to Dallas as kind of a "don't we wish". But he got very excited about it, and, as it was in Tucson, we went to go see it. Instead of a toy hauler, it was a race hauler, built to haul race cars. The front had a living quarters and the back was a garage area, with a doorway between. It was a gooseneck trailer, while we had been looking mostly at 5th wheels. The price was well above what we'd been looking for. But when we saw it, we saw the potential. And for us, potential is a dangerous word.

This would allow us to haul the car where ever we are going to be staying for a while. Then when the car is out, it would give us open play space for the kids. The living quarters up front would be used mostly just for cooking and sleeping. The back would be the living room and play room.

We got very serious about this one and even made an offer on it, but the man wouldn't come down on his price or work with us. So we're back on the hunt, but this time for a race trailer with living quarters.

We had considered briefly getting an empty one and building it the way that we wanted, but it would probably cost more than getting one that has at least the basics already installed, like running water. We will probably get one about half way in between. It will be set up with a bath and kitchen areas, but won't be too fancy.

And that is how we slowly lost our minds...